1) When Jesus promises that there is a place at his father's table for all true believers, does he mean like at a dinner party? And will there be quesadillas?
1.5) Is hell a plate of cucumbers that continuously refills itself, combined with the inability to spit back out what you've already eaten?
2) When Niel Diamond calls Cracklin' Rose "a store bought woman" does that mean that she's a prostitute or just that she had a boob job and wears a lot of makeup?
2.5) Apparently Paul Giamatti is in this new movie about characterizing and anthropomorphizing people's souls. Read all about it in the New Yorker. Willie Nelson's soul is an ear of corn. Dolly Parton's soul is a humming bird. Paul Giamatti says his soul is a slightly ugly painted porcelein frog. What is your soul like? What do you think my soul is like?
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
A long December,er, July.
St. Louis was great. If you go there, check out the art museum (free!), especially for its amazing collection of 20th century German artists. They have a whole room dedicated to Richter, and another whole room dedicated to Max Beckmann. It was overwhelming, and I almost cried.
St. Louis is made out of bricks and humidity. It was fabulous to see J again and to visit with the sparse family I have down there. We sadly did not get around to eating any barbeque, but since I don't really like pork, that is ok. We did find some pretty good Japanese food, though, which was exciting.
I've actually been back for over a week and just have not bothered to update on my adventures. To be honest, it wasn't really that adventuresome of a trip. We hung out, did some crossword puzzles, had some good food, some good conversation and gazed goopily into each other's eyes and all that romantic stuff that people do. Coming home to an apartment devoid of people was hard. Having good friends around for the next weekend was amazing. This weekend I'm headed out west to visit the family. Good times all around.
Frankly, I haven't been doing too much out of the ordinary lately. Went to a Mallards' game. We lost, but some strange dudes sitting next to us helped balance my legs when I basically dove over the fence to grab at a T-shirt the Rightfielder (Go Scotty!) had chu(n)cked our way. Discovered what an amazingly cool place the Monroe St. Bistro is to be on a Sat. night. The French Bistro Cuisine isn't as refined and as well-articulated as the food at Brassierie V (which is just down the road) but who can say no to a happy hour special that lasts ALL NIGHT, especially when there is good, cover-free live music and a super-friendly bartender? Nobody, that's who. And now you all know where to find me on Saturday nights from now until the end of time.
I have no good reviews of films or books to offer you, nor do I have tales of romantic adventures to relate.
So, my dear Internet Friends, I leave you with this: 1) there are some awesome things on the GAP clearance rack right now, and Land's End is selling pants for $7.50, and 2) I learned how to play euchre tonight and totally kicked butt.
3) Sometimes it's the little things that make life worth living - sometimes it's the promise of a quesadilla after all the little things are over.
PS:
The Harry Potter movie was good and really scary during that one part. I apologize to anyone who may now be suffering ruptured eardrums as a result of my terrorized shrieking. They probably heard me in Iowa. I'm sorry, Iowa. I hope your eardrums get better soon.
St. Louis is made out of bricks and humidity. It was fabulous to see J again and to visit with the sparse family I have down there. We sadly did not get around to eating any barbeque, but since I don't really like pork, that is ok. We did find some pretty good Japanese food, though, which was exciting.
I've actually been back for over a week and just have not bothered to update on my adventures. To be honest, it wasn't really that adventuresome of a trip. We hung out, did some crossword puzzles, had some good food, some good conversation and gazed goopily into each other's eyes and all that romantic stuff that people do. Coming home to an apartment devoid of people was hard. Having good friends around for the next weekend was amazing. This weekend I'm headed out west to visit the family. Good times all around.
Frankly, I haven't been doing too much out of the ordinary lately. Went to a Mallards' game. We lost, but some strange dudes sitting next to us helped balance my legs when I basically dove over the fence to grab at a T-shirt the Rightfielder (Go Scotty!) had chu(n)cked our way. Discovered what an amazingly cool place the Monroe St. Bistro is to be on a Sat. night. The French Bistro Cuisine isn't as refined and as well-articulated as the food at Brassierie V (which is just down the road) but who can say no to a happy hour special that lasts ALL NIGHT, especially when there is good, cover-free live music and a super-friendly bartender? Nobody, that's who. And now you all know where to find me on Saturday nights from now until the end of time.
I have no good reviews of films or books to offer you, nor do I have tales of romantic adventures to relate.
So, my dear Internet Friends, I leave you with this: 1) there are some awesome things on the GAP clearance rack right now, and Land's End is selling pants for $7.50, and 2) I learned how to play euchre tonight and totally kicked butt.
3) Sometimes it's the little things that make life worth living - sometimes it's the promise of a quesadilla after all the little things are over.
PS:
The Harry Potter movie was good and really scary during that one part. I apologize to anyone who may now be suffering ruptured eardrums as a result of my terrorized shrieking. They probably heard me in Iowa. I'm sorry, Iowa. I hope your eardrums get better soon.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Inarticulate Rage and Frustration
My sleep schedule is off-kilter, meaning that instead of being productive, I am sleeping late and being slothful, but that is only part of what is bothering me.
I am so overwhelmed by my situation right now. I had so many plans for productivity this summer, so many fun little projects I wanted to do around the house to surprise J when he got back from St. Louis. My wheels have gotten bogged down in a mud patch, and they keep sinking deeper and I'm tired of spinning them. I am so mad at myself because I can't even keep up with the chores required to keep the house tidy when I am the only one living in it. I am mad at J for being in St. Louis (even though I know intellectually that this is completely irrational and unfair, I'm not going to lie about my emotions...). I'm mad at the cats, because they need my care when I am too disgruntled to even care for myself. I'm mad at everyone who ever told me that it would be a great experience to be on my own for a summer. I'm mad at myself for not having a great experience being on my own. I'm mad at myself for being a Person Who Is Dependent On Her Partner. This is not the person I used to think that I was, or the person I used to think that I wanted to be. What the fuck happened to the me I used to be?
I moved around a lot when I was a kid, so "home" has always been more about the people than the place to me. I cringe at the sentimental thought that "J is my home now," but I guess it's true, if not an exclusive condition.
I'm trying to get back to the NW to visit my family. To hug my mom. To see the ocean, mountains, desert and river that I love. I am mad that I don't get to go to the NW very often. I am mad that I live so far away from my family. I am mad at the world because the tickets are expensive. I want to go- it's my grandparents' 60th wedding anniversary! I haven't seen the Pacific Ocean in 3 years (waaaayyyy too long!) But I feel like in order to make it worth the cost and the inconvenience my parents will go through to host me, and to schlepp me back and forth across the state. I should go for a week, and not just a weekend. But I don't really want to go for a whole week. I don't have so very many close friends in the NW anymore (yet another thing to be mad about, although I know I haven't done the best job of maintaining these friendships over time).
A week is a long time to spend just with family. What will I do? Will I be more lonely there than I am here? Who will watch my cats? Will I get any more or less work done there than here? I don't really want to go for that long.... Or maybe I do? I don't know what I want right now, and it's making me cranky and crazy.
I am so overwhelmed by my situation right now. I had so many plans for productivity this summer, so many fun little projects I wanted to do around the house to surprise J when he got back from St. Louis. My wheels have gotten bogged down in a mud patch, and they keep sinking deeper and I'm tired of spinning them. I am so mad at myself because I can't even keep up with the chores required to keep the house tidy when I am the only one living in it. I am mad at J for being in St. Louis (even though I know intellectually that this is completely irrational and unfair, I'm not going to lie about my emotions...). I'm mad at the cats, because they need my care when I am too disgruntled to even care for myself. I'm mad at everyone who ever told me that it would be a great experience to be on my own for a summer. I'm mad at myself for not having a great experience being on my own. I'm mad at myself for being a Person Who Is Dependent On Her Partner. This is not the person I used to think that I was, or the person I used to think that I wanted to be. What the fuck happened to the me I used to be?
I moved around a lot when I was a kid, so "home" has always been more about the people than the place to me. I cringe at the sentimental thought that "J is my home now," but I guess it's true, if not an exclusive condition.
I'm trying to get back to the NW to visit my family. To hug my mom. To see the ocean, mountains, desert and river that I love. I am mad that I don't get to go to the NW very often. I am mad that I live so far away from my family. I am mad at the world because the tickets are expensive. I want to go- it's my grandparents' 60th wedding anniversary! I haven't seen the Pacific Ocean in 3 years (waaaayyyy too long!) But I feel like in order to make it worth the cost and the inconvenience my parents will go through to host me, and to schlepp me back and forth across the state. I should go for a week, and not just a weekend. But I don't really want to go for a whole week. I don't have so very many close friends in the NW anymore (yet another thing to be mad about, although I know I haven't done the best job of maintaining these friendships over time).
A week is a long time to spend just with family. What will I do? Will I be more lonely there than I am here? Who will watch my cats? Will I get any more or less work done there than here? I don't really want to go for that long.... Or maybe I do? I don't know what I want right now, and it's making me cranky and crazy.
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