...and I had no clue which one to travel by.
What am I going to do with my life? I do not like research. I would like to feel that there is a point to what I do, and right now I feel like there isn't. I would like to feel that my daily activities help others in some way, and right now, I feel like they don't. I am disillusioned and dissatisfied with our education system.
Also, I recently watched the movie "The Freedom Writers" which is another story about a extrordinary teacher who works with disadvantaged pupils and turns their lives around. Basically, it was the same story as "To Sir, With Love" and "Dangerous Minds" except for that in this particular version, the female teacher is so incredibly driven and dedicated that she works 2 extra jobs to purchase classroom supplies, and becomes alienated from her husband, who eventually leaves her. The only other two teachers that the movie depicts are racist, classist snobs, who are more concerned with maintaining the hierarchy of seniority within the department than with actually educating the pupils.
Somehow I found this movie to be really unsettling. I dislike the implied message that if you are to make a difference in your job, or in the lives of others, you must be completely self-sacrificing. I also thought that the film did not place enough criticism on the system that denied the students educational materials, and made the choice of the teacher to supply the materials herself too simple. As if that is what we should expect of all teachers - that if the system doesn't provide them with the tools they need to do their job, they will provide the tools themselves, instead of insisting that that the system be modified or improved.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Rash Behavior
I have a heat rash. It is located on a body part that is Inappropriate To Discuss On The Internet, so I will call it my "groin" because that it what it really is. At one point in time, I may have referred to my rash as "leprosy" because that is way more amusing and far less embarrassing than a rash, which, let's face it, has all kinds of nasty connotations about one's personal hygiene. It turns out, people get REALLY worried when you start talking about the leprosy you have growing on your skin, so I decided stop being embarrassed by the rash and just be amused by it. Hahaha! Isn't this the most delightfully blotchy skin you have ever beheld? Aren't you exceedingly diverted?
The thing about this rash is that it's not just hideously ugly, it hurts. So I tried a lot of different creams and salves on it. Creams and salves that I own because I have ridiculously sensitive, dry skin. Creams and salves that usually make my stupid skin feel better. Guess what? The damn rash did not feel better. So, about 5 days after I first notice the rash, I think, oh, maybe I should just google this. Because possibly some random idiot inside of the computer will have advice that is superior my own first aid training and experience with my own skin. Guess what? There are these people called 'doctors' who write stuff on the internet! They said to stop using creams and salves and to use powder. I did, and my rash finally feels better. I guess everything you read on the internet must be true.
The thing about this rash is that it's not just hideously ugly, it hurts. So I tried a lot of different creams and salves on it. Creams and salves that I own because I have ridiculously sensitive, dry skin. Creams and salves that usually make my stupid skin feel better. Guess what? The damn rash did not feel better. So, about 5 days after I first notice the rash, I think, oh, maybe I should just google this. Because possibly some random idiot inside of the computer will have advice that is superior my own first aid training and experience with my own skin. Guess what? There are these people called 'doctors' who write stuff on the internet! They said to stop using creams and salves and to use powder. I did, and my rash finally feels better. I guess everything you read on the internet must be true.
How I Went To Minnesota....
... it wasn't actually that much of an adventure as far as adventures go, unless you maybe cast it in the light of 'Adventures in Adulthood'.
[Backstory: There was a time when as a naive child, I thought that weddings were made out of the same stuff as fairy tales and golden glitter. Then I became a jaded angry feminist, and while I still believed in the values of love, commitment and partnership, I thought the whole marriage thing was completely over-rated. Then my boyfriend and I decided to get married, and I discovered that the whole wedding industry is kind of a crock and a sham and a Big Giant Rip Off. Now that I'm (still) happily married, I like the legal rights that marriage allows me to have, I like that I publicly committed myself to my husband, and I like that the budget for my wedding was a frugal one; even thought it wasn't the prettiest wedding, it was a lot of fun. I love going to weddings and tearing up as couples commit themselves to each other in rituals that are meaningful to them, but as much as I love being a witness to that, and partaking in the free booze and dancing that generally comes after, I still think that there is probably a lot to be said for eloping, and I think that it is total crap that gay couples don't have equal marriage rights.]
Ahem.
So, it was a whirlwind weekend, because we'd been invited to a wedding here in town and a reception for a wedding that happened in February in Hawaii in Minnesota. That is to say, the reception was held in Minnesota - there is no actual 'Hawaii in Minnesota'.
The first wedding was a blast. I got emotional (surprise!) and may have even allowed myself a few sentimental sniffles. I partook liberally of the viands and edibles. I wore a new pair of fantastic red leather pumps and was a superstar on the dance floor with J. We twirled and whirled and attempted the merengue, we tripped over our own toes a minimal amount of times and had a record low of zero dancefloor disputes about Who is leading and Where are we going and What the hell are you even trying to do and Why are you yelling at me and making me feel like crap and I'm not good at this but I'm trying for you so don't treat me like an idiot and This is easy and Why don't you know how to do it five minutes ago. Which is to say that there was definitely some gold glitter flying through the air. Maybe I was the only person to see it, but that doesn't mean it wasn't there. STOP TRYING TO RUIN MY HAPPY STORY ABOUT BEING HAPPY.
The next morning we woke up early! And then we drove and drove and drove and drove, and then we got to the reception. Which was hosted in someone's home and very lovely and relaxed and laid back. Except for that it was in a really fancy neighborhood! With shrubberies! And limited on-street parking! So we parked our banged-up dusty subaru illicitly in the country club lot and I tried to ignore the niggling worries that Our Car Would Be Towed, and sat and ate and chatted and played with a cute baby and generally beamed at the world because My Friend Got Married And She Is Happy And I Am Happy, Too, (Even If I Didn't Get To Go To Hawaii).
It was good to see my friend again, but sad to only get to see her for a snippet of time. However, the convenient thing about Minnesota is that it is miraculously located Right Next to Wisconsin (where I live), and Much Easier To Visit Than Hawaii, and so if would just commit myself to planning more things in advance, I could see my friends who live there a lot more often. Which is what I vowed to myself to do as we were leaving the reception. Yay!
Then there was an ice-cream meet up with another dear friend from summer camp, and more cute baby holding and beaming.
Then there was a quick dash in to the Mall of America so that I could buy some expensive shampoo.
Then there was a drive down to Northfield from the Twin Cities to visit another friend who just got a tenure track job at a liberal arts college there. There was also a torrential rainstorm, which was very scary.
Northfield is where J and our friend went to undergrad, so we had to order gyro pizza, and I got to listen to much reminiscing and jibing, as our friend got a job at The Other liberal arts college, and not his and J's alma mater. Gyro pizza is not that good, and since I have no school spirit or team spirit whatsoever, I tried to ignore the jibing.
The next day, we woke up late, ate a delicious greasy breakfast of eggs and hashbrowns, hung out with our friend, and hit the road sometime in the early afternoon.
We drove and drove and drove, and during a 4 o'clock coffee stop, I fell in love with the town of LaCrosse Wisconsin.
There was some more driving, some mocking of the "ski resorts" along I-94, some driving, and then we were home! Beer and a Law and Order marathon for everyone!
[Backstory: There was a time when as a naive child, I thought that weddings were made out of the same stuff as fairy tales and golden glitter. Then I became a jaded angry feminist, and while I still believed in the values of love, commitment and partnership, I thought the whole marriage thing was completely over-rated. Then my boyfriend and I decided to get married, and I discovered that the whole wedding industry is kind of a crock and a sham and a Big Giant Rip Off. Now that I'm (still) happily married, I like the legal rights that marriage allows me to have, I like that I publicly committed myself to my husband, and I like that the budget for my wedding was a frugal one; even thought it wasn't the prettiest wedding, it was a lot of fun. I love going to weddings and tearing up as couples commit themselves to each other in rituals that are meaningful to them, but as much as I love being a witness to that, and partaking in the free booze and dancing that generally comes after, I still think that there is probably a lot to be said for eloping, and I think that it is total crap that gay couples don't have equal marriage rights.]
Ahem.
So, it was a whirlwind weekend, because we'd been invited to a wedding here in town and a reception for a wedding that happened in February in Hawaii in Minnesota. That is to say, the reception was held in Minnesota - there is no actual 'Hawaii in Minnesota'.
The first wedding was a blast. I got emotional (surprise!) and may have even allowed myself a few sentimental sniffles. I partook liberally of the viands and edibles. I wore a new pair of fantastic red leather pumps and was a superstar on the dance floor with J. We twirled and whirled and attempted the merengue, we tripped over our own toes a minimal amount of times and had a record low of zero dancefloor disputes about Who is leading and Where are we going and What the hell are you even trying to do and Why are you yelling at me and making me feel like crap and I'm not good at this but I'm trying for you so don't treat me like an idiot and This is easy and Why don't you know how to do it five minutes ago. Which is to say that there was definitely some gold glitter flying through the air. Maybe I was the only person to see it, but that doesn't mean it wasn't there. STOP TRYING TO RUIN MY HAPPY STORY ABOUT BEING HAPPY.
The next morning we woke up early! And then we drove and drove and drove and drove, and then we got to the reception. Which was hosted in someone's home and very lovely and relaxed and laid back. Except for that it was in a really fancy neighborhood! With shrubberies! And limited on-street parking! So we parked our banged-up dusty subaru illicitly in the country club lot and I tried to ignore the niggling worries that Our Car Would Be Towed, and sat and ate and chatted and played with a cute baby and generally beamed at the world because My Friend Got Married And She Is Happy And I Am Happy, Too, (Even If I Didn't Get To Go To Hawaii).
It was good to see my friend again, but sad to only get to see her for a snippet of time. However, the convenient thing about Minnesota is that it is miraculously located Right Next to Wisconsin (where I live), and Much Easier To Visit Than Hawaii, and so if would just commit myself to planning more things in advance, I could see my friends who live there a lot more often. Which is what I vowed to myself to do as we were leaving the reception. Yay!
Then there was an ice-cream meet up with another dear friend from summer camp, and more cute baby holding and beaming.
Then there was a quick dash in to the Mall of America so that I could buy some expensive shampoo.
Then there was a drive down to Northfield from the Twin Cities to visit another friend who just got a tenure track job at a liberal arts college there. There was also a torrential rainstorm, which was very scary.
Northfield is where J and our friend went to undergrad, so we had to order gyro pizza, and I got to listen to much reminiscing and jibing, as our friend got a job at The Other liberal arts college, and not his and J's alma mater. Gyro pizza is not that good, and since I have no school spirit or team spirit whatsoever, I tried to ignore the jibing.
The next day, we woke up late, ate a delicious greasy breakfast of eggs and hashbrowns, hung out with our friend, and hit the road sometime in the early afternoon.
We drove and drove and drove, and during a 4 o'clock coffee stop, I fell in love with the town of LaCrosse Wisconsin.
There was some more driving, some mocking of the "ski resorts" along I-94, some driving, and then we were home! Beer and a Law and Order marathon for everyone!
To write about...
-skydiving.
-innocence and experience.
-revolutionary road and your own personal paris.
-how having heat rash is a crappy way to spend the last week of summer before prepping for the semester becomes an absolute necessity.
-preserving fruit and other Hannah Housewife adventures.
-a weekend of weddings and sitting in the car (or, How I Went to Minnesota And Ate A Lot Of Food And Hugged A Lot Of Friends).
-evoking "place" and finding "home".
-innocence and experience.
-revolutionary road and your own personal paris.
-how having heat rash is a crappy way to spend the last week of summer before prepping for the semester becomes an absolute necessity.
-preserving fruit and other Hannah Housewife adventures.
-a weekend of weddings and sitting in the car (or, How I Went to Minnesota And Ate A Lot Of Food And Hugged A Lot Of Friends).
-evoking "place" and finding "home".
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
All in a bowl of blueberries
I am back from a glorious visit home, but not done processing all the things I learned and experienced while there. I feel reconnected to my extended families again, after years of feeling like the inconvenient and unwanted wierdo relative. I am mourning the fact that I still live so far away from them and that this flush of emotion and bonding will likely pass all too quickly. My desires to move back to the NW have been intensified, at the expense of my desire to do other things... I'm hoping to energize myself with a local adventure sometime in the very near future.
J is coming back from St. Louis this afternoon. I'm trying to tidy the house a bit before he gets here in the hopes that if I tame my clutter a bit, my crazy alarm won't go off when his clutter gets plopped down on the floor. It's amazing how my chaos expanded to fill the void.
I had blueberries, greek yoghurt honey and sliced almonds for breakfast. What is it about berries that makes them such a soulful and decadent meal? One of the things I did while on vacation was read a copy of the children's book Jamberry to my two-year-old cousin. I love that book. If you know any two or three year olds, please make sure that they own copies of this book.
J is coming back from St. Louis this afternoon. I'm trying to tidy the house a bit before he gets here in the hopes that if I tame my clutter a bit, my crazy alarm won't go off when his clutter gets plopped down on the floor. It's amazing how my chaos expanded to fill the void.
I had blueberries, greek yoghurt honey and sliced almonds for breakfast. What is it about berries that makes them such a soulful and decadent meal? One of the things I did while on vacation was read a copy of the children's book Jamberry to my two-year-old cousin. I love that book. If you know any two or three year olds, please make sure that they own copies of this book.
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