I have a heat rash. It is located on a body part that is Inappropriate To Discuss On The Internet, so I will call it my "groin" because that it what it really is. At one point in time, I may have referred to my rash as "leprosy" because that is way more amusing and far less embarrassing than a rash, which, let's face it, has all kinds of nasty connotations about one's personal hygiene. It turns out, people get REALLY worried when you start talking about the leprosy you have growing on your skin, so I decided stop being embarrassed by the rash and just be amused by it. Hahaha! Isn't this the most delightfully blotchy skin you have ever beheld? Aren't you exceedingly diverted?
The thing about this rash is that it's not just hideously ugly, it hurts. So I tried a lot of different creams and salves on it. Creams and salves that I own because I have ridiculously sensitive, dry skin. Creams and salves that usually make my stupid skin feel better. Guess what? The damn rash did not feel better. So, about 5 days after I first notice the rash, I think, oh, maybe I should just google this. Because possibly some random idiot inside of the computer will have advice that is superior my own first aid training and experience with my own skin. Guess what? There are these people called 'doctors' who write stuff on the internet! They said to stop using creams and salves and to use powder. I did, and my rash finally feels better. I guess everything you read on the internet must be true.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
How I Went To Minnesota....
... it wasn't actually that much of an adventure as far as adventures go, unless you maybe cast it in the light of 'Adventures in Adulthood'.
[Backstory: There was a time when as a naive child, I thought that weddings were made out of the same stuff as fairy tales and golden glitter. Then I became a jaded angry feminist, and while I still believed in the values of love, commitment and partnership, I thought the whole marriage thing was completely over-rated. Then my boyfriend and I decided to get married, and I discovered that the whole wedding industry is kind of a crock and a sham and a Big Giant Rip Off. Now that I'm (still) happily married, I like the legal rights that marriage allows me to have, I like that I publicly committed myself to my husband, and I like that the budget for my wedding was a frugal one; even thought it wasn't the prettiest wedding, it was a lot of fun. I love going to weddings and tearing up as couples commit themselves to each other in rituals that are meaningful to them, but as much as I love being a witness to that, and partaking in the free booze and dancing that generally comes after, I still think that there is probably a lot to be said for eloping, and I think that it is total crap that gay couples don't have equal marriage rights.]
Ahem.
So, it was a whirlwind weekend, because we'd been invited to a wedding here in town and a reception for a wedding that happened in February in Hawaii in Minnesota. That is to say, the reception was held in Minnesota - there is no actual 'Hawaii in Minnesota'.
The first wedding was a blast. I got emotional (surprise!) and may have even allowed myself a few sentimental sniffles. I partook liberally of the viands and edibles. I wore a new pair of fantastic red leather pumps and was a superstar on the dance floor with J. We twirled and whirled and attempted the merengue, we tripped over our own toes a minimal amount of times and had a record low of zero dancefloor disputes about Who is leading and Where are we going and What the hell are you even trying to do and Why are you yelling at me and making me feel like crap and I'm not good at this but I'm trying for you so don't treat me like an idiot and This is easy and Why don't you know how to do it five minutes ago. Which is to say that there was definitely some gold glitter flying through the air. Maybe I was the only person to see it, but that doesn't mean it wasn't there. STOP TRYING TO RUIN MY HAPPY STORY ABOUT BEING HAPPY.
The next morning we woke up early! And then we drove and drove and drove and drove, and then we got to the reception. Which was hosted in someone's home and very lovely and relaxed and laid back. Except for that it was in a really fancy neighborhood! With shrubberies! And limited on-street parking! So we parked our banged-up dusty subaru illicitly in the country club lot and I tried to ignore the niggling worries that Our Car Would Be Towed, and sat and ate and chatted and played with a cute baby and generally beamed at the world because My Friend Got Married And She Is Happy And I Am Happy, Too, (Even If I Didn't Get To Go To Hawaii).
It was good to see my friend again, but sad to only get to see her for a snippet of time. However, the convenient thing about Minnesota is that it is miraculously located Right Next to Wisconsin (where I live), and Much Easier To Visit Than Hawaii, and so if would just commit myself to planning more things in advance, I could see my friends who live there a lot more often. Which is what I vowed to myself to do as we were leaving the reception. Yay!
Then there was an ice-cream meet up with another dear friend from summer camp, and more cute baby holding and beaming.
Then there was a quick dash in to the Mall of America so that I could buy some expensive shampoo.
Then there was a drive down to Northfield from the Twin Cities to visit another friend who just got a tenure track job at a liberal arts college there. There was also a torrential rainstorm, which was very scary.
Northfield is where J and our friend went to undergrad, so we had to order gyro pizza, and I got to listen to much reminiscing and jibing, as our friend got a job at The Other liberal arts college, and not his and J's alma mater. Gyro pizza is not that good, and since I have no school spirit or team spirit whatsoever, I tried to ignore the jibing.
The next day, we woke up late, ate a delicious greasy breakfast of eggs and hashbrowns, hung out with our friend, and hit the road sometime in the early afternoon.
We drove and drove and drove, and during a 4 o'clock coffee stop, I fell in love with the town of LaCrosse Wisconsin.
There was some more driving, some mocking of the "ski resorts" along I-94, some driving, and then we were home! Beer and a Law and Order marathon for everyone!
[Backstory: There was a time when as a naive child, I thought that weddings were made out of the same stuff as fairy tales and golden glitter. Then I became a jaded angry feminist, and while I still believed in the values of love, commitment and partnership, I thought the whole marriage thing was completely over-rated. Then my boyfriend and I decided to get married, and I discovered that the whole wedding industry is kind of a crock and a sham and a Big Giant Rip Off. Now that I'm (still) happily married, I like the legal rights that marriage allows me to have, I like that I publicly committed myself to my husband, and I like that the budget for my wedding was a frugal one; even thought it wasn't the prettiest wedding, it was a lot of fun. I love going to weddings and tearing up as couples commit themselves to each other in rituals that are meaningful to them, but as much as I love being a witness to that, and partaking in the free booze and dancing that generally comes after, I still think that there is probably a lot to be said for eloping, and I think that it is total crap that gay couples don't have equal marriage rights.]
Ahem.
So, it was a whirlwind weekend, because we'd been invited to a wedding here in town and a reception for a wedding that happened in February in Hawaii in Minnesota. That is to say, the reception was held in Minnesota - there is no actual 'Hawaii in Minnesota'.
The first wedding was a blast. I got emotional (surprise!) and may have even allowed myself a few sentimental sniffles. I partook liberally of the viands and edibles. I wore a new pair of fantastic red leather pumps and was a superstar on the dance floor with J. We twirled and whirled and attempted the merengue, we tripped over our own toes a minimal amount of times and had a record low of zero dancefloor disputes about Who is leading and Where are we going and What the hell are you even trying to do and Why are you yelling at me and making me feel like crap and I'm not good at this but I'm trying for you so don't treat me like an idiot and This is easy and Why don't you know how to do it five minutes ago. Which is to say that there was definitely some gold glitter flying through the air. Maybe I was the only person to see it, but that doesn't mean it wasn't there. STOP TRYING TO RUIN MY HAPPY STORY ABOUT BEING HAPPY.
The next morning we woke up early! And then we drove and drove and drove and drove, and then we got to the reception. Which was hosted in someone's home and very lovely and relaxed and laid back. Except for that it was in a really fancy neighborhood! With shrubberies! And limited on-street parking! So we parked our banged-up dusty subaru illicitly in the country club lot and I tried to ignore the niggling worries that Our Car Would Be Towed, and sat and ate and chatted and played with a cute baby and generally beamed at the world because My Friend Got Married And She Is Happy And I Am Happy, Too, (Even If I Didn't Get To Go To Hawaii).
It was good to see my friend again, but sad to only get to see her for a snippet of time. However, the convenient thing about Minnesota is that it is miraculously located Right Next to Wisconsin (where I live), and Much Easier To Visit Than Hawaii, and so if would just commit myself to planning more things in advance, I could see my friends who live there a lot more often. Which is what I vowed to myself to do as we were leaving the reception. Yay!
Then there was an ice-cream meet up with another dear friend from summer camp, and more cute baby holding and beaming.
Then there was a quick dash in to the Mall of America so that I could buy some expensive shampoo.
Then there was a drive down to Northfield from the Twin Cities to visit another friend who just got a tenure track job at a liberal arts college there. There was also a torrential rainstorm, which was very scary.
Northfield is where J and our friend went to undergrad, so we had to order gyro pizza, and I got to listen to much reminiscing and jibing, as our friend got a job at The Other liberal arts college, and not his and J's alma mater. Gyro pizza is not that good, and since I have no school spirit or team spirit whatsoever, I tried to ignore the jibing.
The next day, we woke up late, ate a delicious greasy breakfast of eggs and hashbrowns, hung out with our friend, and hit the road sometime in the early afternoon.
We drove and drove and drove, and during a 4 o'clock coffee stop, I fell in love with the town of LaCrosse Wisconsin.
There was some more driving, some mocking of the "ski resorts" along I-94, some driving, and then we were home! Beer and a Law and Order marathon for everyone!
To write about...
-skydiving.
-innocence and experience.
-revolutionary road and your own personal paris.
-how having heat rash is a crappy way to spend the last week of summer before prepping for the semester becomes an absolute necessity.
-preserving fruit and other Hannah Housewife adventures.
-a weekend of weddings and sitting in the car (or, How I Went to Minnesota And Ate A Lot Of Food And Hugged A Lot Of Friends).
-evoking "place" and finding "home".
-innocence and experience.
-revolutionary road and your own personal paris.
-how having heat rash is a crappy way to spend the last week of summer before prepping for the semester becomes an absolute necessity.
-preserving fruit and other Hannah Housewife adventures.
-a weekend of weddings and sitting in the car (or, How I Went to Minnesota And Ate A Lot Of Food And Hugged A Lot Of Friends).
-evoking "place" and finding "home".
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
All in a bowl of blueberries
I am back from a glorious visit home, but not done processing all the things I learned and experienced while there. I feel reconnected to my extended families again, after years of feeling like the inconvenient and unwanted wierdo relative. I am mourning the fact that I still live so far away from them and that this flush of emotion and bonding will likely pass all too quickly. My desires to move back to the NW have been intensified, at the expense of my desire to do other things... I'm hoping to energize myself with a local adventure sometime in the very near future.
J is coming back from St. Louis this afternoon. I'm trying to tidy the house a bit before he gets here in the hopes that if I tame my clutter a bit, my crazy alarm won't go off when his clutter gets plopped down on the floor. It's amazing how my chaos expanded to fill the void.
I had blueberries, greek yoghurt honey and sliced almonds for breakfast. What is it about berries that makes them such a soulful and decadent meal? One of the things I did while on vacation was read a copy of the children's book Jamberry to my two-year-old cousin. I love that book. If you know any two or three year olds, please make sure that they own copies of this book.
J is coming back from St. Louis this afternoon. I'm trying to tidy the house a bit before he gets here in the hopes that if I tame my clutter a bit, my crazy alarm won't go off when his clutter gets plopped down on the floor. It's amazing how my chaos expanded to fill the void.
I had blueberries, greek yoghurt honey and sliced almonds for breakfast. What is it about berries that makes them such a soulful and decadent meal? One of the things I did while on vacation was read a copy of the children's book Jamberry to my two-year-old cousin. I love that book. If you know any two or three year olds, please make sure that they own copies of this book.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Two things:
1) When Jesus promises that there is a place at his father's table for all true believers, does he mean like at a dinner party? And will there be quesadillas?
1.5) Is hell a plate of cucumbers that continuously refills itself, combined with the inability to spit back out what you've already eaten?
2) When Niel Diamond calls Cracklin' Rose "a store bought woman" does that mean that she's a prostitute or just that she had a boob job and wears a lot of makeup?
2.5) Apparently Paul Giamatti is in this new movie about characterizing and anthropomorphizing people's souls. Read all about it in the New Yorker. Willie Nelson's soul is an ear of corn. Dolly Parton's soul is a humming bird. Paul Giamatti says his soul is a slightly ugly painted porcelein frog. What is your soul like? What do you think my soul is like?
1.5) Is hell a plate of cucumbers that continuously refills itself, combined with the inability to spit back out what you've already eaten?
2) When Niel Diamond calls Cracklin' Rose "a store bought woman" does that mean that she's a prostitute or just that she had a boob job and wears a lot of makeup?
2.5) Apparently Paul Giamatti is in this new movie about characterizing and anthropomorphizing people's souls. Read all about it in the New Yorker. Willie Nelson's soul is an ear of corn. Dolly Parton's soul is a humming bird. Paul Giamatti says his soul is a slightly ugly painted porcelein frog. What is your soul like? What do you think my soul is like?
A long December,er, July.
St. Louis was great. If you go there, check out the art museum (free!), especially for its amazing collection of 20th century German artists. They have a whole room dedicated to Richter, and another whole room dedicated to Max Beckmann. It was overwhelming, and I almost cried.
St. Louis is made out of bricks and humidity. It was fabulous to see J again and to visit with the sparse family I have down there. We sadly did not get around to eating any barbeque, but since I don't really like pork, that is ok. We did find some pretty good Japanese food, though, which was exciting.
I've actually been back for over a week and just have not bothered to update on my adventures. To be honest, it wasn't really that adventuresome of a trip. We hung out, did some crossword puzzles, had some good food, some good conversation and gazed goopily into each other's eyes and all that romantic stuff that people do. Coming home to an apartment devoid of people was hard. Having good friends around for the next weekend was amazing. This weekend I'm headed out west to visit the family. Good times all around.
Frankly, I haven't been doing too much out of the ordinary lately. Went to a Mallards' game. We lost, but some strange dudes sitting next to us helped balance my legs when I basically dove over the fence to grab at a T-shirt the Rightfielder (Go Scotty!) had chu(n)cked our way. Discovered what an amazingly cool place the Monroe St. Bistro is to be on a Sat. night. The French Bistro Cuisine isn't as refined and as well-articulated as the food at Brassierie V (which is just down the road) but who can say no to a happy hour special that lasts ALL NIGHT, especially when there is good, cover-free live music and a super-friendly bartender? Nobody, that's who. And now you all know where to find me on Saturday nights from now until the end of time.
I have no good reviews of films or books to offer you, nor do I have tales of romantic adventures to relate.
So, my dear Internet Friends, I leave you with this: 1) there are some awesome things on the GAP clearance rack right now, and Land's End is selling pants for $7.50, and 2) I learned how to play euchre tonight and totally kicked butt.
3) Sometimes it's the little things that make life worth living - sometimes it's the promise of a quesadilla after all the little things are over.
PS:
The Harry Potter movie was good and really scary during that one part. I apologize to anyone who may now be suffering ruptured eardrums as a result of my terrorized shrieking. They probably heard me in Iowa. I'm sorry, Iowa. I hope your eardrums get better soon.
St. Louis is made out of bricks and humidity. It was fabulous to see J again and to visit with the sparse family I have down there. We sadly did not get around to eating any barbeque, but since I don't really like pork, that is ok. We did find some pretty good Japanese food, though, which was exciting.
I've actually been back for over a week and just have not bothered to update on my adventures. To be honest, it wasn't really that adventuresome of a trip. We hung out, did some crossword puzzles, had some good food, some good conversation and gazed goopily into each other's eyes and all that romantic stuff that people do. Coming home to an apartment devoid of people was hard. Having good friends around for the next weekend was amazing. This weekend I'm headed out west to visit the family. Good times all around.
Frankly, I haven't been doing too much out of the ordinary lately. Went to a Mallards' game. We lost, but some strange dudes sitting next to us helped balance my legs when I basically dove over the fence to grab at a T-shirt the Rightfielder (Go Scotty!) had chu(n)cked our way. Discovered what an amazingly cool place the Monroe St. Bistro is to be on a Sat. night. The French Bistro Cuisine isn't as refined and as well-articulated as the food at Brassierie V (which is just down the road) but who can say no to a happy hour special that lasts ALL NIGHT, especially when there is good, cover-free live music and a super-friendly bartender? Nobody, that's who. And now you all know where to find me on Saturday nights from now until the end of time.
I have no good reviews of films or books to offer you, nor do I have tales of romantic adventures to relate.
So, my dear Internet Friends, I leave you with this: 1) there are some awesome things on the GAP clearance rack right now, and Land's End is selling pants for $7.50, and 2) I learned how to play euchre tonight and totally kicked butt.
3) Sometimes it's the little things that make life worth living - sometimes it's the promise of a quesadilla after all the little things are over.
PS:
The Harry Potter movie was good and really scary during that one part. I apologize to anyone who may now be suffering ruptured eardrums as a result of my terrorized shrieking. They probably heard me in Iowa. I'm sorry, Iowa. I hope your eardrums get better soon.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Inarticulate Rage and Frustration
My sleep schedule is off-kilter, meaning that instead of being productive, I am sleeping late and being slothful, but that is only part of what is bothering me.
I am so overwhelmed by my situation right now. I had so many plans for productivity this summer, so many fun little projects I wanted to do around the house to surprise J when he got back from St. Louis. My wheels have gotten bogged down in a mud patch, and they keep sinking deeper and I'm tired of spinning them. I am so mad at myself because I can't even keep up with the chores required to keep the house tidy when I am the only one living in it. I am mad at J for being in St. Louis (even though I know intellectually that this is completely irrational and unfair, I'm not going to lie about my emotions...). I'm mad at the cats, because they need my care when I am too disgruntled to even care for myself. I'm mad at everyone who ever told me that it would be a great experience to be on my own for a summer. I'm mad at myself for not having a great experience being on my own. I'm mad at myself for being a Person Who Is Dependent On Her Partner. This is not the person I used to think that I was, or the person I used to think that I wanted to be. What the fuck happened to the me I used to be?
I moved around a lot when I was a kid, so "home" has always been more about the people than the place to me. I cringe at the sentimental thought that "J is my home now," but I guess it's true, if not an exclusive condition.
I'm trying to get back to the NW to visit my family. To hug my mom. To see the ocean, mountains, desert and river that I love. I am mad that I don't get to go to the NW very often. I am mad that I live so far away from my family. I am mad at the world because the tickets are expensive. I want to go- it's my grandparents' 60th wedding anniversary! I haven't seen the Pacific Ocean in 3 years (waaaayyyy too long!) But I feel like in order to make it worth the cost and the inconvenience my parents will go through to host me, and to schlepp me back and forth across the state. I should go for a week, and not just a weekend. But I don't really want to go for a whole week. I don't have so very many close friends in the NW anymore (yet another thing to be mad about, although I know I haven't done the best job of maintaining these friendships over time).
A week is a long time to spend just with family. What will I do? Will I be more lonely there than I am here? Who will watch my cats? Will I get any more or less work done there than here? I don't really want to go for that long.... Or maybe I do? I don't know what I want right now, and it's making me cranky and crazy.
I am so overwhelmed by my situation right now. I had so many plans for productivity this summer, so many fun little projects I wanted to do around the house to surprise J when he got back from St. Louis. My wheels have gotten bogged down in a mud patch, and they keep sinking deeper and I'm tired of spinning them. I am so mad at myself because I can't even keep up with the chores required to keep the house tidy when I am the only one living in it. I am mad at J for being in St. Louis (even though I know intellectually that this is completely irrational and unfair, I'm not going to lie about my emotions...). I'm mad at the cats, because they need my care when I am too disgruntled to even care for myself. I'm mad at everyone who ever told me that it would be a great experience to be on my own for a summer. I'm mad at myself for not having a great experience being on my own. I'm mad at myself for being a Person Who Is Dependent On Her Partner. This is not the person I used to think that I was, or the person I used to think that I wanted to be. What the fuck happened to the me I used to be?
I moved around a lot when I was a kid, so "home" has always been more about the people than the place to me. I cringe at the sentimental thought that "J is my home now," but I guess it's true, if not an exclusive condition.
I'm trying to get back to the NW to visit my family. To hug my mom. To see the ocean, mountains, desert and river that I love. I am mad that I don't get to go to the NW very often. I am mad that I live so far away from my family. I am mad at the world because the tickets are expensive. I want to go- it's my grandparents' 60th wedding anniversary! I haven't seen the Pacific Ocean in 3 years (waaaayyyy too long!) But I feel like in order to make it worth the cost and the inconvenience my parents will go through to host me, and to schlepp me back and forth across the state. I should go for a week, and not just a weekend. But I don't really want to go for a whole week. I don't have so very many close friends in the NW anymore (yet another thing to be mad about, although I know I haven't done the best job of maintaining these friendships over time).
A week is a long time to spend just with family. What will I do? Will I be more lonely there than I am here? Who will watch my cats? Will I get any more or less work done there than here? I don't really want to go for that long.... Or maybe I do? I don't know what I want right now, and it's making me cranky and crazy.
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